Let me introduce you to my son, Jimmy who has known since he was little, that he was attracted to the same sex. Of course, he is much older than the picture you see in this post, however, I will forever see Jimmy as my little boy.
There is a new area in my coaching ministry that I am so excited to share with you and I must admit, Jimmy is the reason. I share our story not be judged or create judgments, but to allow my thoughts to perhaps touch someone else that may have a similar story to ours. I want to provide understanding, compassion, and guidance. I’ve been down this journey and certainly want you to learn from my own mistakes and errors.
With Jimmy’s permission, I share a bit of his life journey from a “mother’s perspective.” Jimmy is a miracle child born to me when I was struggling with infertility in my late 20’s early 30’s. My son is quite the old soul from the moment he was born. It was like he knew his purpose and would even tell me at a young age, “Mom, I have responsibilities.” It truly would crack me up!
During high school, I noticed a significant change in Jimmy’s behavior. Our family was in a state of transition, moving from one town to the next in a short amount of time. This coupled with his father working in a different town and rarely home on time for dinner is when I noticed Jimmy beginning to withdraw from his dad and me. Jimmy would spend what seemed like forever alone in his bedroom. Yet, he always made good grades and enjoyed school, so I was confident he wasn’t struggling academically. I kept asking myself what was happening in that bedroom that was so much better than spending family time with me and his dad? During his senior year, I began working in another town, which left Jimmy with more time alone. With all this freedom, Jimmy was able to experience and explore his own sexuality, which is when he announced to his father and me he was attracted to the same sex.
I distinctly remember the afternoon he told me and for some reason, I was more hurt than anything. I don’t know exactly why and I would be dishonest to say I never saw the signs. I just hoped and prayed that as he grew older, the homosexual tendencies would disappear. And of course, they did not. That same day, we spent lots of time in discussion and for the following months, it seemed our family routine resumed. It was during Jimmy’s first committed relationship with another man that he completely distanced himself from our family. He would call periodically, but we didn’t see him for nearly 18 months. During this time I spent many hours praying and reading everything I could about homosexuality and same-sex attraction.
Thankfully, Jimmy and I now have a very good relationship. We talk regularly and enjoy each other’s company. We can now agree we have different worldviews on life while respecting and practicing unconditional love. We both celebrate exactly who we were created to be during this lifetime.
As a Christian mom, I pray daily for Jimmy. I don’t pray for him to come out of his homosexuality, I learned to pray for God to use Jimmy as He chooses. Jimmy continues to struggle with God. As a teen he prayed for God to change him, God didn’t. Jimmy lives daily with the question, “God, if this is wrong to love the same-sex, why did you create me with this desire?”
Life is full of twists and turns that affect us as parents, siblings, and friends. If you can relate to my story and would like to share your own experiences, I invite you to connect with me at www.katyweber.com. Learn about tools and a variety of approaches to love, acceptance and maintaining healthy relationships with loved ones. You are not alone; there are many on this journey with you.
To our twists and turns together!